The first month of the year is coming to a close and I have been traveling Europe for the last four weeks. "Where do you live? Where are you based? What do you do?" they ask. I shrug my shoulders and smile the smug smile of a proud, uncertain nomad. Four months ago I found myself having to decide where I wanted to geographically continue my life. As a Canadian citizen who has spent the last five years studying and networking her career in the U.S., but not so convinced as to exert copious amounts of effort, money, and commitment to acquire the right to stay working in America (yet...) I decided I needed to see more and experience more, before marrying myself to a country. And so, by December 2015, I chose to invest in a relationship with a 20-pound backpack branded by Gregory, and bought a one-way ticket to Paris in time to greet the first of January, 2016.
With a pack strapped to my back and changing locations every three or four days, I am in constant ponder of the idea of "home." So much, that it has become a sort of research. I do not have an apartment, or even a childhood room, waiting for me to return and bask in its physical home-ness. I have no bed and memory foam to dream of, or walls of photos and UO decor to anticipate greeting. No where in the world do I own my own pots and pans, or a garbage can anymore. The thought can become a downward spiral towards a self-indulgent, sob night of wine and ice-cream. But, in actuality, the lack of these things don't matter. The place where I've found the most comfort, and this sense of "home" these last few months, is in people. Not only in the friends and family most dear to me, but also in generous strangers who have welcomed me into their foreign homes. "Home is where the heart is;" and that heart can go anywhere. Home, to me, has been feelings of trust, gratitude, and the communal connection of human beings.
On most days I feel generally fatigued and wrung out like a wet towel. It has been a gritty, and sometimes chaotic adventure. But, I can always taste the sweet notes at the end of each day. The sweet feeling that I am surviving something; that there is a challenge to survive through. It is this work to survive that is so rewarding.